By Miriam Barghouti, a journalist and policy analyst in Palestine

I keep forgetting to wear my helmet in the field. If I’m honest it’s because I hate it, it’s so heavy & when my peers remind me to wear it I snap back, “what? You think it’ll protect us? Didn’t Shireen (Abu Aqleh) get shot in the neck?” 

In our profession as war journalists we are required to wear bullet-proof vests with the PRESS insignia on them, and our cars are all also marked with “PRESS/TV.” 

It’s to be visible to armed groups, whether it’s the Israeli military or Palestinian resistance groups, that we are PRESS. With that, they’re all supposed to ensure our safety & not target us.

But in Palestine, being press means being a target. The gear which is meant to protect us has become a marker to attack us.

When the Israeli army is not around -even if I’m around Palestinian fighters- I actually don’t need my gear at all. 

In fact, fighters are eager to speak with us- often commending our “bravery” to dare go by them because the Israeli military does not want their stories out.

It is only when Israeli army jets, drones, & soldiers are in the skies/ground do I find us- local and internationals- wearing our gear.

The flack jacket can’t protect me from a drone strike, a bullet to the neck, to the thigh, to the shoulder. 

All of this is to explain to you- the ones we serve,- why we continue to wear our gear even though their weight causes problems for the spine and body, all while having with no real capacity to protect us (consider the journalists in GZ who have worn their gear for nearly a year, developing all sorts of health issues & still being executed- despite this they remain committed to their profession).

We keep wearing this gear as an act of defiance to maintain right for press, & flow of information.

When the only official body tasked with relaying information in real-time is targeted, documentation is blurred and the narrative becomes a debate of we said, they said. 

Censorship is not just the removal of posts from social media platforms. It is a violent, bloody, and strategic act that’s less about the messengers & more about the message relayed.

Here, is where our slaughter is the engineering of your ignorance.